Lying in his arms again
by Sakuras Heart Healer
Summary: I'm dating Tamaki, and hes so sweet and I can tell he really loves me. Then why am I waking up in your arms every morning. Why am I calling you by your name and letting you kiss me?...sorry for sucky summary T just in case swear theres nothing bad!
1. Guilt

A/N: Ok this fanfic I've been thinking about for a long time

A/N: Ok this fanfic I've been thinking about for a long time. Its inspired by a song called Lying in his arms again, when I find out the artist I'll be sure to post it. Please enjoy and I own nothing!!

_**Chapter 1 Guilty**_

_**Haruhi's POV**_

"Oh Haruhi there you are!" I turned around to see Tamaki racing down the hall towards me. I smiled at him waiting patiently for him to catch up.

"Hello Tamaki-Senpai." I said once he was closer.

"How many times must I tell you to call me Tamaki? We _are_ dating now." He pouted before wrapping me up in a tight hug.

"I'm sorry Tamaki-Se-…Tamaki. It just sounds so strange." Tamaki took my hand shaking his head as he walked me home.

Tamaki asked me out over a month ago. I had no doubt in my mind when we first started dating, but now I couldn't help but feel this was wrong. Maybe it was because of…him. I felt guilt pang my stomach but a fluttering feeling overtake my heart. What was I supposed to do?

"Oh no!"

"What is it?" Tamaki asked frowning as I pulled my hand out of his.

"I forgot something in the band room." I started backing up.

"I'll come with you." He started to follow but I stopped him.

"No, that's alright. I'll call you later tonight. Maybe we can go out or something." I smiled at him, knowing he would agree, and he did.

"Alright. Hurry home, I'll be waiting by the phone." He leaned down kissed me lightly on the lips and trotted off towards his limo. I waved goodbye before moving back towards the school and up the stairs to the music room. Sad thing about it, Tamaki _would _be waiting by the phone probably chewing his nails off with worry. She could just see him bouncing the host members from their house to search for her if she didn't call with in the next hour.

"Hello?" I called walking into the quiet band room. Silence. Where was he?

"Haruhi, I was wondering if you'd come." His voice soft, deep and calm lifted the hairs on the back of my neck as he whispered in my ear.

"I'm sorry." I closed my eyes as he kissed my neck. I felt his hands move around my waist and pull me back against him.

"Does he suspect something?" He asked his voice laced with worry.

"No, I don't think so. Its getting so hard to lie to him." I whispered knowing the sadness was clear in my voice.

"We can break this off at anytime, you know that." His arms started to move away.

"No." I moved quickly wrapping my arms around his back as I whipped around. I only relaxed when he put his arms around me again and was running light kisses down my face.

"I love you Haruhi. What are we going to do?" He kissed me tenderly letting our feelings spread out across our lips.

"I don't know. I'm so afraid to hurt him, but I'm terrified to lose you." I looked up into his dark eyes and handsome face. His glasses reflected the light briefly.

"I love you Kyouya." If Tamaki heard me say his name with such confidence I'm sure he would be heartbroken. Dating Tamaki for a month and I couldn't drop the Senpai, seeing Kyouya secretly and I couldn't imagine calling him anything else.

A/N: So what do you think good first chapter? Please review and thanks for reading. I hope this story will turn out good!!


	2. Hard for Us

A/N: Ok heres chapter two please enjoy! I own nothing

I'm also thinking about having the entire story mainly in Haruhi's POV just so you know.

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_**Chapter 2 Hard for Us**_

_**Harui's POV**_

I got home thirty five minutes after I left to go back to the band room and met Kyouya. I dropped my bag off by the door and went straight for the phone. I dialed Tamaki's number and it didn't even get done ringing the first time.

"Hello Tamaki-Senpai." I greeted before him.

"Tamaki." He pouted through the phone and I sighed.

"Sorry, so you want to go out?" I asked folding my arm over my chest.

"Yes of course I have the whole evening planned out my dearest." I smiled at the floor shaking my head slightly.

"I have to study so not to late alright?" I waited hearing him whine away from the phone for a good minute.

"Alright nine."

"Seven."

"Eight-thirty."

"Eight."

"Deal!" Tamaki cheered and I laughed.

"I'll be over in ten minutes."

"Fifteen I have to get ready." I corrected.

"Fine."

"Its nothing fancy right?" I asked suspiciously. There was a long pause.

"Tamaki." I growled.

"No, no nothing fancy. Dress casual if you want. You have thirteen minutes now." He hung up after that making me fume for a moment before going to change.

I found a note from dad on the door, he'd be out late tonight didn't want me to wait up. Tossing my jacket to the bed I went and found my favorite pair of capries _(A/N: I'm so annoyed will someone please tell me the right spelling for that. The pants that aren't pants but not shorts you know what I'm talking about right? Please my computer doesn't know and either do I T.T….anyway back to story_)

I pulled my shirt on and was trying to smooth down my short hair when I heard the doorbell. That was quick. I glared at the door ready to chew Tamaki out for being earlier I still had a good ten minutes.

"Tamaki you said-" I didn't get to finish my sentence. I was pushed back into the apartment and gathered up into a kiss as the door closed behind us.

"What are you doing here?" I gasped when Kyouya broke the kiss.

"I missed you." He grinned at me making my knees wobble.

"You have to go Tamaki's coming to take me out." I said looking up into his eyes.

"I wish _I _could take you out." He whispered running his hand down my cheek. I leaned into the palm holding it against my face.

"I know, me too." I closed my eyes feeling the warm flesh against my face. I wasn't ready to break Tamaki's heart, and Kyouya wasn't ready to lose his best friend. We both knew this wasn't the time for it.

"I still need to get ready." I mumbled finally. Kyouya nodded following me back into my room.

He sat down on the bed watching me as I brushed my hair and placed two clips in to keep my bangs back. I could feel Kyouya's eyes on my back and finally I looked back at him. He got up off the bed and crossed the room to me.

"I'll be here when you get back. What time?" He whispered wrapping his arms around my waist.

"I said eight because I need to study, which I do." Add seeing him smirk. "So he'll probably try to keep me later. So maybe nine at the latest." I looked up at him over my shoulder. He leaned down kissing my lightly.

"Alright, you don't mind me waiting here?" He asked. I shook my head.

"If you want. Won't you get kind of bored?" I asked frowning at him.

"No I'm sure I'll find something to do." He kissed my neck as I moved forward. He kept his hands on my waist following me as I went to the kitchen.

"Um, not much to eat but you could always order something if you wanted to." I frowned at the nearly bare fridge. I'll need to go shopping soon.

"I'll be fine, don't worry." He whispered playing with a piece of my hair.

We were quiet for a while just standing there together my arms folded across his which was around my waist.

"This is so hard Kyouya." I whispered closing my eyes as I leaned back against him.

"It's harder for me Haruhi."

"I'm sorry. We could tell him today, now." I whispered feeling my stomach clench in fear.

"No, I'm not ready for that. Either are you." He added feeling my body tensing up.

"It's just going hurt him more later."

"I know, but think about happy he's been this past month." I nodded. There was a pounding on the door that sent Kyouya into the air. He grumbled, kissed my cheek quickly then disappeared down the hall.

"I'm coming, calm down!" I called running to the door.

"Hello my dear." Tamaki greeted throwing his arms around me. I smiled hugging him back, but not as tightly.

"Come this night is going to be perfect!" Tamaki dragged me out of my apartment and down into the limo that awaited us.

Driving away I looked up at my apartment window seeing Kyouya's face appear for a moment, a smile, and then he was gone again. I felt lonely at that point, and wondered how he felt completely alone in the dark, and quiet apartment. Not even Tamaki's constant chatter could replace the feeling that settled in my stomach as we drove further away from Kyouya.

A/N: Ok next chapter soon. I hope you guys are liking this story? Please review and thanks for reading!!


	3. Remembering

A/N: Ok heres third chapter ENJOY

A/N: Ok heres third chapter ENJOY!! :D

_**Chapter 3 Remembering**_

_**Flashback One month**_

"You can't do that!" I shouted angrily at Kyouya as he added another huge amount to my debt. He glared at me that cold smile on his face, it made me want to slap him.

"I just did."

"Why are you being so difficult! I haven't done anything wrong!" I felt near tears as I fought with Kyouya for the hundredth time since I'd started dating Tamaki. That's when I noticed his whole attitude change towards me. Now we seemed to fight every single day. But this time it was different we were completely alone, so I had free rein to scream and shout my head off all I wanted.

He chuckled at the statement like it was an inside joke or something. That only angered me more, but he mistook the color in my face for embarrassment.

"Why don't you run along Haruhi. I'm sure Tamaki is waiting for you." The way he spoke Tamaki's name my eyes widened in surprise. Kyouya looked away quickly seeing my expression.

"Just go Haruhi." He turned his back to me pretending to do something on his lap top.

"Kyouya-Senpai?" I touched his shoulder feeling his whole body tense up.

"What's wrong, please tell me." I was whispering for some reason and as he straightened I felt my heart race. He sighed keeping his back to me.

"You don't need to hear it. Just go to Tamaki."

"I want to hear it." I protested.

"No, I don't think you'll like it." He smiled a sadder smile as he turned to face me again. I stared; I'd never seen him like this before.

"I want to hear it. I want you to be yourself again." I whispered waiting for him to speak. The silence dragged out between us as we stared. He looked to be fighting with himself, the way his eyes seemed to focus in on me, then go blurry again.

"Senpai." I whispered. He sighed, the light reflection off his glasses as he approached me. He kept coming closer till I was forced to step back. I was finally driven into the chair not more then two feet behind me. Kyouya leaned against the arm rests his face just inches from mine.

"The problem is…." He paused, the struggle returning to his eyes. If he backed out now I'd crack his skull and find out for myself. His eyes closed and his voice got real quiet.

"The problem is you're not mine." My eyes opened ten times their normal size and froze that way as I stared into Kyouya's dark eyes. Before I could even think of a response to that, he leaned down brushing his lips against mine. It was the lightest, gentlest kiss I'd ever had and it sent my face scarlet and heart pounding.

"There you know." He was still hovering dangerously close to me face.

"Tamaki will be wondering why you haven't called." He pulled away now just holding himself up on the arm rests. He was staring at me like he was waiting for an outburst of some kind.

"Kyouya, why didn't you ever tell me?" His eyes widened as I stared up at him. I ignored the fact that I had forgotten the Senpai. I felt the tears brimming behind my lashes, I didn't know why I was crying but I couldn't stop it.

"Y-you're not upset?" He asked staring at me like I was crazy, but I saw something in his eyes. Hope.

"What about Tamaki?" He questioned. I shook in the chair remembering that I was dating Tamaki.

"He loves me." I whispered closing my eyes. I felt Kyouya's hand slid up to my face and brush away the tears as they cut their way down my face. Opening my eyes I saw him so close again.

"But you don't love him." He whispered kissing me. It was still light, and gentle but he pressed our lips together holding my face against his lips. I knew things would be different now.

_**End Flash back, back to the Present!!**_

"Are you alright Haruhi?" I jumped when I felt Tamaki's hand lower onto mine.

"Oh, yeah. I'm fine." I flashed a smile letting my fingers curl up through his. He smiled squeezing my hand.

"Where are you taking me anyway?" I asked looking through the tinted windows and seeing that we were leaving town.

"It's a surprise." He winked at me and I scowled before giving in and grinned back. He laughed pulling me against his side. I tried to relax into his embrace but I was still a bit ridged. I felt guilt chew at my stomach as we sat together. He just wasn't Kyouya.

"Ok where here." Tamaki's voice was laced with excitement as he pulled me out of the limo.

"Oh." I blinked surprised to see where standing on the beginning of a dirt path leading into a forest. I looked up questioningly at Tamaki, he just grinned and squeezed my hand.

"Lets go."

"Where are we going?" I asked again stumbling over loose roots. Tamaki steadied me.

"It's a surprise." He responded again his smile pulling higher in excitement.

We finally got out of the forest in to a large clearing. In the middle a red and white checkered cloth was laid out with a large basket. I blinked and looked up at Tamaki. He wore a proud grin on his face as he dragged me to the cloth.

"I hope this is acceptable food for a pininc." Tamaki rambled on his own excitement making his words come to fast.

"I thought you'd like to do something different then usual. I got all your favorites and drinks…." He went on like that for a while. I just smiled and took the items he pulled from the basket spreading them out around us. He was really being sweet and I remembered why I had agreed to date him in the first place. I did love him, I was just not in love with him. I wish I could have figured that out before we started dating.

"Are you enjoying yourself Haruhi?" Tamaki asked after we'd finished off the picnic. I turned wearing a warm smile.

"Yes, thank you Tamaki-Senpai this was wonderful." He frowned leaning in closer to me. I leaned back a little surprised by his look.

"You did it again." He said pointing a finger in my face.

"Did what?"

"Tamaki-Senpai." He said in a squeaky voice trying to sound like me. That made me giggle. He pulled back blushing lightly the frown on his face still.

"Sorry, _Tamaki_." He grinned at me, happy now.

He wrapped one arm around my waist and pulled me against his side as he lay back on the blanket. He sighed looking at me as I blushed lightly. He smiled letting his fingers run down my face.

"I'm so happy Haruhi." Guilt gnawed with a new hunger at my stomach. I managed a smile somehow though.

"I'm glad Tamaki." He stared at me and I saw the love so clearly in his dazzling blue eyes. I wanted to cry and tell him everything. Tell him I didn't love him the same way; tell him I've been seeing Kyouya behind his back. I wanted to spill my guts to him right there and then, but that would crush him and I didn't have the heart to do it. Not yet.

"Thank you Haruhi." He whispered tracing the outline of my face with a feathery touch.

"For what?" I whispered. He smiled that goofy smile that used to always make me smile back.

"For making me so happy."

"Your welcome." I whispered closing my eyes, unable to look into his eyes without tearing up. I felt his lips press to mine as he lay there.

"Its getting late. I should take you back." He whispered pulling away. I nodded getting up. I grabbed his hand helping him up as well. We walked back to the limo hand in hand.

A/N: Ok heres the chapter. I'm really starting to get into this one lol. Please Review and thanks so much for reading.!! Omg took me a good half an hour to get this uploaded my computor/flashdrive is being so mean to me :( at least I had back up flashd drive :D


	4. I love you

A/N: Ok heres chapter 4

A/N: Ok heres chapter 4. Sorry it took a little longer then I wanted my flash drive ate like all my stories T.T so I got a new one, well my old one, so here you go please enjoy!

_**Chapter 4 I love you**_

After Tamaki dropped me off I walked into my apartment feeling so guilty I thought I would throw up. The only thing that made me cheer up a little was that I would get to see Kyouya now. But as I looked around the pitch black apartment a jolt of panic set it

"Kyouya?" I called standing in the hallway after I was sure Tamaki's limo had pulled away. Silence answered me. There wasn't a single source of light in the entire apartment, not even in my room.

"Kyouya where are you?" I called making my way slowly down the hall. He said he would wait here, why wasn't he here.

Finally I found the right door to my room and walked in to pitch blackness. It didn't feel cold and empty like the rest of the house did. This room felt warmer and fuller? Why do my thoughts never make sense? I ran my hand against the wall trying to find the light switch.

"Oh come on." I growled trying to turn the light on. The switch went up and down, but the lights stayed off. I felt of the verge of tears as I stuck my arms out fumbling around for the bed.

"Ah!" Something was standing in front of me and wrapped two warm, strong arms around my body.

"I'm sorry, I didn't hear you come in." Kyouya mumbled into my hair. I buried my face against his bare chest.

"What's wrong? Why are you crying?" He asked pulling me back as he felt the cool tear slid down his skin.

"For one, you scared me." I mumbled trying to see his face through the darkness.

"And?" He probed I could practically hear the frown in his voice.

"And Tamaki's making me feel really guilty." I admitted softly. I heard him sigh as he wound me close to him again.

"I'm sorry Haruhi." I recognized that tone.

"Don't be Kyouya." I said firmly.

"You know…"

"Yes I know but it's not possible." I scolded knowing was going to dangle the get of jail free card again, but it wouldn't work.

"Oh, Haruhi." He sighed kissing my forehead lightly. His arms slid down around my waist and pulled me to the bed. He pushed me down and I blinked into the darkness as he moved away.

"What are you doing?" I asked hearing him shuffling through the draw next the bed. A match was struck and he was illuminated suddenly. I watched him light one candle, then another.

"Why don't my lights work?" I asked as he settled down besides me again. He grinned and shrugged as I leaned against his side.

"I didn't want to get mad."

"What do you mean?"

"I fell asleep waiting, and didn't want you to come home and wake me up."

"Oh." He was known for being bad tempered when anyone woke him before he was good and ready. I found the fact that he broke my light switch so he wouldn't risk getting mad at me, sweet.

We were silent for a while. I watched our shadows on the floor boards. His arms tightened around my waist as she I leaned my head just under his chin. His tall frame was easily seen on one side, while my smaller shadow was easy to see on other side, but in the middle we where blended as one. I couldn't tell if Kyouya was watching them too. So I waved. When he laughed I knew he had been watching.

"I love you Haruhi." He whispered in my ear his breath tickling my senses.

"I love you too Kyouya." I responded looking up at him in the candle light. His face danced with shadows as the light flickered. I loved the way he watched me. Made me feel special, and like I was the only thing in the world.

Placing one hand against my face he titled it up to meet his lips. I loved the way he kissed me too. Tamaki's kisses were sweet, hesitant but Kyouya. His were light, gentle, and full of love.

"Don't you have studying to do?" He asked grinning as he pulled away. I pouted.

"I don't _have_ to study." I rested my neck against his shoulder staring up at him so close.

"You'll lose your scholarship." That did it.

"Fine." I sighed. But when I tried to pull out of his arms to get my study books he pulled me back down.

"I'll help you." I frowned at him.

"Tomorrow, at my house." I smiled at him as he leaned down to kiss me again.

"I'm still tired, lets go to sleep now." I yelped when he leaned against me, which toppled me over. He grinned one arm on either side me as he lay next to me.

"Night my love." He whispered kissing me light and feathery again.

"Night Kyouya." I whispered feeling my eyes close as I felt his weight in the mattress next to me. I titled my head wanting to see him before I fell asleep. He was staring at me again, his dark eyes smoldering.

"I love you." I smiled snuggling closer to him. He draped one arm across my side the other pillow his head while I wound my around his neck. I fell asleep too quickly, but I could still barely feel the smooth softness of his lips moving across my face.

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A/N: ok its not the same as the chapter I wrote that got eaten but its close. Hope you enjoyed it I wanted a fluffy fluff moment between Kyouya haruhi. Please review thanks so much for reading my story!!


	5. Best Friends

A/N: Ok heres next chapter please enjoy

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_**Chapter 5 Best Friend**_

Kyouya left early in the morning before Tamaki came to pick me up. It always surprised me when I rolled over to find him already dressed and watching me in a chair by the bed. He'd smile, make some comment about sleeping beauty then lean over and kiss me. Then he'd be gone out the front door leaving my house quiet again.

"Haruhi!" Tamaki's voice was too loud to early when I opened my front door.

"Hello Senpai." I yawned grabbing my book bag. I tried to walk out he door but his hand slammed against the side.

"What's wrong?" He was leaning in his eyes narrow.

"You did it _again_." His angry expression turned into a depressed, whining face.

"Sorry, Tamaki." I kissed his cheek making him smile as he took my hand.

"It's alright, Haruhi." He said softly climbing in the limo and sliding in close to me.

During the whole ride to the school he kept his arm securely around me and rested his head against mine. By the time we got to school I was feeling worried.

"Is something wrong?" I asked climbing out of the limo.

"No." He answered playing a calm confused look. I stared up at him unconvinced.

"Really Haruhi I'm perfectly fine." He leaned down kissing me. It surprised me the way he kissed me. It was still sweet but with more…urgency. When he pulled back he smiled took my hand and bound away at the school his old attitude back with a vengeance.

"Come now Haruhi you're so slow." Tamaki whined as we were going to the host club.

"I'm not slow your just to fast." I growled running up to where he had stopped.

"Why are you running anyway?" I panted staring at his goofy smile.

"Come on." He took off again, and I found myself laughing as I tried to catch up with him.

"We have arrived!" Tamaki shouted racing into the music room me hot on his heels.

"Hey!" He'd stopped and I ran straight into his back. He fell and I fell on top of him. He was laughing so hard it looked like he was having trouble breathing. I blushed and started laughing as well.

"Come now you two someone will see, and Haruhi's secret will be out." I looked up to see Kyouya holding out his hand to me. I took and he hosted me up off of Tamaki. The twins attended to the nearly suffocating Tamaki, who was still laughing.

"Just follow my lead Haruhi." Kyouya whispered in my ear as he released my hand. When I glanced up he was already walking away towards his notebook.

"Are you alright?" I laughed going to Tamaki who was now upright. He smiled warmly leaning against me as he wrapped his arms around my neck.

"I am now." He whispered softly in my ear. My eyes went wide filling with guilt that must have been easy to see because Kyouya looked anxious as he watched us. To hide my expression I buried my face in his shoulder. Why did he have to make this twice as hard as it already was?

"If you two are quiet done now. I have something to talk to Haruhi about." Kyouya said in his usual shadow king voice. Tamaki straightened but kept his arms around my neck and squished me against his chest.

"Is she in more debt?" His eyes went wide in worry. I couldn't help but grin at my old Tamaki.

"No she's failing her class."

"What!" Tamaki and I shouted at the same time. Kyouya raised his brows at us and I flushed.

"Thanks Senpai I really wanted everyone to know." I growled remembering finally what he had whispered in my ear. This was a plan so I could come over without anyone suspecting anything.

"Haruhi how could you not tell me you were failing!" Tamaki asked staring down at me a hurt expression in his eyes.

"Because I didn't want you to worry about it. I have it under control. I'm studying more and…"

"And still failing." Kyouya chipped in pushing his classes up his nose.

"I'm trying!"

"But if you fail your next test you will have to leave the host club." That sent up many protests and when they went quiet again Kyouya started.

"So to insure that you don't fail I'm going to tutor you today."

"But…"

"No buts Haruhi you will study with Kyouya today and everyday if necessary." I looked up surprised at Tamaki.

"I want to see you as much as possible and if you leave the host club, I'll see you less. I don't want that." Oh god, don't cry Haruhi, I told myself as he placed one hand on my cheek and smiled that stupid dazzling smile.

"Thanks Tamaki…." I caught myself that time to his delight of course. As he was calling out happily and spinning me in circles I caught a glimpse of Kyouya. He was standing in his corner watching us a sad smile on his face. But in the second I saw him he was gone again replaced by the blur of the room.

"Goodbye my love. Make sure you study hard and pass your test." Tamaki said crushing me against his chest. Kyouya crossed his arms, trying to look annoyed at the delay, and the look wasn't far from the truth as he waited by the limo.

"Ok I will." I gasped as he squeezed even tighter. Then he softened up and titled my chin to look up at him.

"Have fun. I'll be waiting for you tomorrow." He said softly. His kiss was the same as it had been this morning. It made me worry but he just smiled and pushed me off towards the limo.

"Goodbye Haruhi." He waved sending a smile out that would make a thousand girls swoon.

"Goodbye." I waved smiling as I climbed into the limo behind Kyouya.

"Sh, don't worry Haruhi. Don't cry." Kyouya murmured drawing me to his side as we pulled away. I wrapped my arms around his neck crying quietly as the guilt surged through my system.

"Haruhi if its this hard for you maybe…" But I wouldn't hear it. I cut him off pressing our lips together. In a kiss that must have felt as urgent as Tamaki's.

"I love you Kyouya." I whispered nuzzling my head down into the space between shoulder and neck.

"Its just hard to see him so happy, and knowing that he's going to be crushed." I whispered as he stroked my head.

"I know, its hard for me to. He is…" He paused chewing his tongue I looked up smiling.

"Say it." I poked his side. He jumped at the touch, then smiled.

"He is my best friend." The words seemed odd on his tongue, but a grin followed afterward.

"Don't worry Haruhi. Everything will turn out for the best." He stroked the side of my face lovingly. I nodded placing my hand over his. I trusted him completely, everything would turn out for the best, or not at all.

"Now about this studing." I started grinning at him.

"Well we are going to study, your grades are slipping a little." I frowned at that and he chuckled tucking my short hair behind my hair.

"But first a little time alone for the two of us." He whispered in that low, sweet voice as he kissed me once again.

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A/n: Ok here you go! So glad my flash drive didn't eat this chapter lol! Please review and thanks tons for reading my story!! Ok i just realized last line doesn't make it clear. He's gonna take her out on a date XD


	6. I miss you

A/N: Ok heres next chapter please enjoy

A/N: Ok heres next chapter please enjoy. Seems like Tamaki suspects something doesn't it?? Hehe have to read and find out :D

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**_Chapter 6 I miss you_**

I stopped crying quickly, with Kyouya there to comfort me it made the guilt subside so much easier.

"Where are we going?" I asked peering over at the windows, since I was sitting on Kyouya's lap his arm supporting my back as I leaned against him, my legs stretched out on the seat besides us.

"Well we are going to have to have our alone time later tonight." I looked up a large pout pulling at my face.

"But you said…" I whined and he grinned.

"I know, don't worry. We'll study till its dark, which is only a few hours. Then we can go out. Promise." He pecked at my lips and I smiled leaning against him again.

"Alright."

When we reached Kyouya's he helped me out of the car then acted as if annoyed by my whole presence. I did the same scowling at his back and muttering under my breath. Everyone bought into it giving us a wide birth as we made our way to Kyouya's room.

"I hate doing that." I muttered as he closed and locked the door behind us.

"Me too." He whispered suddenly surrounding me in his arms. I leaned back against him holding his arms with mine.

"Come now you need to study." I growled as he pulled away from me and snatched up my book bag. Dumping the books on the floor he plopped himself down.

"What are you laughing at?" He asked frowning up at me. I just kept laughing till there where tears in my eyes.

"I love seeing this side of you Kyouya." I sat down next to him opening up the first books.

"Oh god!" I shrieked as our peaceful silence was shattered. Kyouya looking very much annoyed for real this time, reached into his pocket for his cell.

"What do you want?" He asked. I could hear Tamaki's high pitched squeals on the other end.

"She's studying."

"No."

"Why?"

"Here Haruhi." Kyouya passed the phone to me with a confused look on his face.

"Hello?" I waited for his voice. There was a pause.

"Hello Haruhi!" His voice was loud and I pulled the phone away from my ear till he was done.

"Don't do that!" I snapped.

"I'm sorry my love."

"What do you need?" I asked trying not to sound to pushy on the subject.

"I just wanted to see how the studying was going."

"Fine, Kyouya-Senpai's really good tutor." I smiled at him and he grinned back and looked over my answers. I frowned when he started shaking his head and erasing it all.

"That's good."

"Are you alright?" I asked grimacing at the tone of his voice.

"Yes of course I'm alright Haruhi." His voice sounded different again.

"Really Tamaki?" I wasn't convinced in the least.

"Are you staying the night there?"

"What?" I couldn't believe he just asked that.

"Are you spending the night there. To study of course." He repeated. I looked up at Kyouya a look that made him grimace as well. He nodded once then went back to my answers.

"Kyouya thinks I need to. He keeps erasing all my work!" I managed a severely irritated tone that had to be convincing because Kyouya looked up blinking at me. I smiled reassuringly and he went back, erasing slowly now, watching me from the corner of his eye. I bite my tongue to keep from giggling.

"Oh."

"Why did you want to do something?" I asked.

"Oh, no your grades are more important. I'll take you out another night." He laughed dramatically into the phone and I felt my gut clench.

"I'm sorry Tamaki…" I caught myself again making him go into squealing fits on the other end. I sighed, waiting for him to stop.

"I'll guess I will talk to you later then Haruhi." He said his voice was light and distant now.

"Tamaki I don't believe you, some things wrong. Tell me." I demanded. Kyouya's eyes glued themselves to me as I chewed my lip waiting for to answer.

"Really Haruhi I'm fine. I just miss you, its hard to be away from you all the time." _Oh, god._ Guilt raced through my entire system overflowing from my eyes.

"I miss you too Tamaki." I forced myself to say as I fell backwards on to my back. I laid there listening to him rant on about how happy he was that I missed him. I could feel Kyouya's hand on my leg as I lay there. I picked my head up and looked at him. He was giving me a sad grin as he rubbed my shin. I grinned back laying my head back down.

"Alright I have to go." I heard him sob a little, but I could tell it was his old self again.

"Bye." I clicked the phone after another minute of goodbyes from him.

"He really knows how to lay it on doesn't he?" I laughed bitterly staring at the ceiling.

"He just loves you Haruhi. I would be the same way." Kyouya crawled over to me and laid down on his side besides me. I turned my head to look at him.

"Yeah, I guess." I kissed his cheek and put my arm around his shoulders.

"Is it dark yet?" I asked after a while. He kissed my ear before whispering into it.

"Actually it is." He got to his feet pulling me up with him.

"Here change into these." He went behind the couch and grabbed a bag.

"What? When did you get these?" I asked pulling out clothes from my house.

"I got this morning before I left." He grinned at me putting his hand against my face.

"Change. I'll be right back." He disappeared leaving me to change.

Tamaki's voice managed to stay in mind as Kyouya drove me to god knows where. He'd snuck me out the back and given the driver strict instructions to forget he ever saw them. Being loyal to Kyouya, and fan of Haruhi he agreed without complaints.

_"Really Haruhi I'm fine, its just hard to be away from you all the time."_ Shivers raced up and down my back thinking about his voice. The way it had sounded so sad. Kyouya took my shivering for being cold and draped his arms around me. I leaned against him eagerly listening to his heart beat drown out Tamaki's voice.

"Where are you taking me?" I demanded fumbling around blind as Kyouya kept his hand over my eyes leading me further and further into a secluded spot. I hadn't gotten a good look before blindness had taken over.

"Ok here we are." His voice was right by ear making goose bumps rise on my skin.

We were standing in the middle of a huge field of tall grass. In the middle I realized was a swing that could be laid out.

"The shadow king's afraid to sit in the grass?" I giggled turning to smile at him over my shoulder. He smiled taking my hand and leading me over to it. I bit back my laughter as he wrestled with the swing till it laid out in a bed like form.

We laid there under the stars snuggled up close to one another. It was a beautiful night the stars so bright and beautiful I could see Kyouya clearly in the night. He looked so handsome under the twinkling lights, but he didn't watch them for long. It was like he could feel my gaze on him and he always turned to smile at me.

After an hour or so he magically produced a blanket and draped it around us. I snuggled under the warmth and closer to him. He wrapped his arms around me as he turned on his side. Nothing could have gotten us closer then we were at that moment. His heart beat became one with mine and it was like our hearts had fussed together to become one gentle thud in the night air.

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A/N: Ok there you go lol. I say the same thing in like every A/N lol….But yeah please review thanks for reading love ya'll!!


	7. Forbidden

A/N: Please don't forget to review I love hearing from you all

A/N: Please don't forget to review I love hearing from you all!! :D

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_**Chapter 7 Forbidden**_

_**Kyouya's POV**_

"You are no longer allowed to see this girl." I stared at my father my whole self control at the breaking point. He'd called me into his office once Haruhi left with Tamaki this morning. I knew it was going to be bad, but this...

"You have no right." I said quietly keeping my voice low enough so he could not hear the rage in my voice.

"Don't you dare tell me what I have the right to say to my own son!" My father shouted jumping up from his chair. He glared at me through his glasses and I clenched my jaw, my own eyes narrowing.

"You will not risk our relationship with the Suou family with this little affair of yours."

"Don't you dare talk about Haruhi that way!" I shouted back at him.

"Miss Fujika doesn't matter in the long run anyway. She's no money to her name, the only thing that could offer any merit would be her brain. But as I said you seeing her risks our relationship with the Suou family."

"I forbid it."

"What?" I was in shock now stepping back from him as he settled back into his seat.

"You are forbidden to see, or speak to Haruhi Fujika outside of your little host club." _Forbidden to see Haruhi, to speak to Haruhi. Forbidden to love her._

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A/N: Ok decide for a little mini mini chapter lol don't worry I'll fill in the blanks next chapter!! :D


	8. Protection

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A/N: Sorry if the last chapter confused you I wanted some drama to appear lol here's next chapter taking place when Kyouya and Haruhi are back at his house.

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_**Chapter 8 Protection**_

I woke when I felt like I was floating. Floating on a warm protective boat with warming rays that wrapped themselves around my body. The gentle thump in my ear like the waves crashing against the boat. Opening my eyes I saw Kyouya walking and I was tucked in his arms.

"Where are we?" I asked looking over his arms. He jumped a little surprised to hear me awake.

"You fell asleep, we're back home now." Home. That sounded nice. I was home with him.

Sliding me out of his arms he crawled into the bed with me. I sighed snuggling close to his bare chest. He kissed my forehead running the tips of his fingers down my cheek as the softness of his comforter caressed my bare shoulders as we snuggled closer to one another.

"I love you Haruhi."

"I love you more Kyouya." I smiled closing my eyes when I heard him chuckle.

It was quiet; I could hear the gentle rhythm of Kyouya's breathing seeping into my dreams. It gentle and even like wind beating against the sails as water sloshed against a boat gentle as a kitten.

I was walking through the school holding his hand and unafraid of what anyone would think. It didn't matter Tamaki wasn't my boyfriend, Kyouya was. Tamaki didn't love me Kyouya did. Kyouya was my world. We had nothing to worry about, everyone knew I was not a boy and everything was perfect.

"Haruhi!" Turning in the hall I stared back the way we had just come. Kyouya kept walking seemingly unaware. I stumbled and nearly tripped as Kyouya dragged me along after him.

"Tamaki?" I whispered thinking I could hear his voice in the distance. It sounded so far away, but it was too close. It was to close to Kyouya and me. He loved me! I knew he loved me! He would be broken, shattered, if he found out.

"Let go Kyouya!" I demanded but his hand tightened and crushed my hand.

"Tamaki is coming let go!" I cried fearing to shatter the heart of one of the closets friends I ever had.

"Tamaki is coming!" I wanted to scream but it only came out slow and in a whisper. It felt like my entire body was weighed down, but I was warm. I was so comfortable, but something was wrong. The voice. That voice was loud and close. Fearful. I was afraid.

"Damn it!" I was jolted awake when Kyouya grabbed my arm and dragged me out of the bed. His fingers dug into the flesh of my arm, making me wince in pain. His eyes were tight, and just as fearful as mine.

"What's wrong?" I demanded as he flew across the room aiming for his closet.

"Tamaki's here!" He hissed. I could hear him clearly now. His loud voice was yelling my name. His voice had seeped into my dreams. I had whispered to Kyouya, whispered that Tamaki was coming. That's how he knew, that's why he was dragging me across his room. Tamaki was coming here!

"Oh god." I groaned feeling my heart thump in fear as Kyouya opened the closet.

"Stay here." Kyouya looked at me as I huddled in the bottom of his closet. He looked sad and I smiled but it was sad as well.

"I love you." I whispered as he closed the doors. I waited in the dark I heard him crawling back into bed, and then it was quiet. I hated this feeling it felt like I was hiding from my fears again.

I jumped inside the closet when I heard the door crash open and Tamaki's voice call out.

"Kyouya! Haruhi's missing. I can't find her anywhere!" His voice was set in panic and went real quiet after he'd shouted.

"K-Kyouya?" He squeaked.

"What are you _screaming_ about…" Jeez, Kyouya was a very good actor the tone of voice had me shivering in my hard wood prison.

"I-I…" I heard Tamaki gulp.

"She is probably walking around lost. Why don't you get out of my room and go find her!" He snapped I heard the door slam shut and silence again.

"Haruhi?" The door cracked open revealing Kyouya standing above me with a sad face.

"Come we need to hurry." I took his hand and squeezed it as he led me to the door.

"Ok I want you to run as far from my room as possible, try to run in the opposite direction of Tamaki's voice." I looked up pained by what we had been forced to do.

"Don't worry Haruhi." He kissed me lightly, and I felt the slight urgency in his kiss. Same as Tamaki's but not as potent. Kyouya was worried, but he knew I was his forever.

It wasn't hard to get lost in Kyouya's house. All the halls looked the same, and all the doors looked the same. I couldn't believe how empty they were compared to the other afternoon. That time seemed so far away. Like it happened years ago, a happier time before I was forced to run and hide my love, from some one who loved me.

"Haruhi!" I turned and saw Tamaki standing at the end of the hall his arms were spread out wide his legs far apart in surprise like he'd been in mid run when he spotted me.

"Tamaki-Senpai!" I called making my voice sound happy as I turned walking to him.

He stood there waiting for me to reach him his arms dropping to his side as I approached. I saw the saddest look in his eyes as I neared. His eyes looked fogged and cold and stared blankly at me. To make it disappear I enclosed Tamaki's chest in my arms. I was concerned when he didn't return the embrace but before I could look up at him he put his arms around me loosely. Then they tightened pulling close to him so close his breath disappeared in my hair.

"I missed you Haruhi." He whispered in my hair placing his cheek against it. One hand came up and swept down my head, to reach my cheek.

"Haruhi can I ask you something?" I looked up at him my eyes filled with concern.

"What is it Tamaki?" The warmth returned to his eyes a little, because of the dropped Senpai, I was sure. But he still had that sad look. I wanted to reach up and did so without realizing it. I placed my hand against his cheek as well feeling the skin warm under my light touch.

"Haruhi…" He whispered my name. Bringing his hand up it covered my hand as he leaned into the palm. His eyes closed blocking the sadness for the briefest moment. When he opened them again I saw a battle raging wild in his eyes. I gasped watching the battle go on in his eyes as he remained silent.

"D…" He paused looking at me like he wished _I_ already knew the question.

"Did you study hard last night?" He finally sighed smiling as he kissed my palm. That wasn't what he had been about to ask but I didn't want to hear the real question. I was to afraid of what he might say.

"Yes, Tamaki. Kyouya helped me, I'm sure I'll pass the test." I smiled knowing it seemed just as sad as he was.

"That's good Haruhi. That's good." He whispered pulling me close again. I listened to his heartbeat racing in my ears. Something was wrong, but I didn't want to hear it. I was afraid. I was terrified to hear it.

"Lets go home Haruhi." Home. I _was_ home.

Tamaki took my hand leading me through the halls with ease. I worried about his attitude and the way he'd been glancing down at me. I hoped he didn't notice the trembles that racked my body every now and again.

"Are you cold Haruhi?" He grinned at me wrapping one arm around my shoulders. I leaned against his side as we turned another corner and I could see the front door now. I wondered where Kyouya was but then I saw him. And his father.

"Goodbye Mr. Suou I'm glad you found Miss Fujioka." I glanced at Kyouya he was standing very stiff, and avoided eye contact with me. Panic made my heart race.

"Yes, sorry for bothering you." Tamaki flashed his old smile and tightened his arm around my shoulders.

"No problem." They talked for a mere moment longer and then we left. I noticed that Kyouya's father seemed to be acting to friendly. Kyouya too distant and quiet. Something horrible was about to happen, I could feel it in my bones as we drove away. A hurricane was coming and I was on the wrong boat, I was not in the right person's arms. My protection was growing smaller and smaller as we drove away.

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A/N: Hope you enjoyed this chapter. Please review and thanks for reading!! :D


	9. Fear

A/N: Ok heres next chapter thanks for reviewing I love to hear how I'm doing :D Enjoy

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**_Chapter 9 Fear_**

_**Kyouya's POV**_

I walked back to my room in a complete daze. My eyes were unfocused and I constantly bumped into the walls and tables that littered the halls of my house. I'd managed to save the vase of flowers then return to my zombie state. The servants that saw me stared, worried, then scurried away as I passed unnoticing of their gazes.

Finally managing to get to my room I collapsed on the bed. It hit me hard then like a ton of bricks in the face. My father had _forbidden_ any relationship with Haruhi outside of the host club. Little even then. That was…..impossible for me. I _loved _Haruhi. Loved her so damn much, I risked losing my best friend and risked making him hate me and Haruhi forever. Could I really ever do that to Tamaki? Yes he was an idiot but he was still….my friend.

I knew how close Haruhi and Tamaki were even before they started dating. He was always the friend she had when things got tough, even if she liked to deny it at the time. Tamaki was the wall she leaned against. And I replaced that support. She wouldn't be able to handle it if the wall just disappeared. Specially at this time, she probably dind't know it, but we were walking the path to the truth. We were nearly ready to tell Tamaki the truth about us. I could see it in her eyes every day how the guilt ate at her.

Her eyes….I wouldn't be able to look her straight in the face again once I told her this. But …

"I love you Haruhi." The words floated from my lips and hovered above my face, before just disappearing into the silence. My love falling on empty ears.

_**Haruhi's POV**_

Tamaki drove me away from Kyouya's house and I had a horrible feeling in my gut as he did. Something was wrong, something was going to happen and I wasn't ready at all.

I glanced at Tamaki gazing out the window with a calm, and quiet expression. I hated to see that, I wanted it to stop.

"Tamaki…" I placed my hand on his. His head turned away from the window and his face pulled back into a warm smile.

"Yes Haruhi?" He asked lacing his fingers through mine.

"What is wrong?" I wasn't sure I wanted to know, but he was…my friend. He looked thoughtful for a moment then smiled again.

"I'm just wondering or not to ask you something." My heart thumped painfully against my chest.

"What is it?" I whispered my voice suddenly able to go no louder. Did he know? No, he couldn't. How could he? He doesn't know?

"Haruhi." I blinked looking at him again. He laughed warmly, like his old self, and pulled me into his chest.

"I wanted to ask you to come away with me for a while."

"Why?"

"Because I want alone time with you. I want it to be just you and me." He was whispering now, close to my ear.

"I don't know…" I started but he pulled away again cupping my face.

"You don't have to if you don't want to Haruhi. Its just a request, not a demand." He kissed me lightly on the lips then smiled, sadly.

"I planned to leave Tuesday for the week and come back next monday. You have till then to think about it."

_**Monday**_

"Haruhi could I talk to you alone for a moment." I looked up at Kyouya as he stood in front of me. I was surprised, and glanced around to see the others watching us, Tamaki as well. His eyes seemed a little to empty as he watched us.

"Sure, Senpai." I followed as he drifted towards the back room one hand in his pocket the other pushing up his glasses to a sinister look. That was my first warning, that something was wrong.

"What is it?" I asked grabbing his sleeve once we were in the back room. He had his back to me, and my stomach was doing flips and crashing against my sides. I'd had this dooms day feeling every since I left his house last week. He hadn't spoken to me, or seen me since I left his house. Something bad was about to happen and it was going to happen now.

"When you came over to study, and Tamaki came to get you in the morning, remember?" That was a stupid question.

"Yes." I replied frowning as he kept his back to me.

"After you left my father and I had a…discussion about you." My face paled my fingers releasing the fabric of his jacket. Fear consumed me.

"And…." There was a long, century long pause before he turned to face me. He stared me straight in the eye and spoke calmly.

"And I think it is best that we do not see each other behind Tamaki's back any longer."

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A/N: Eeek like the shortest chapter I've written on this but I'll update hopefully soon. I'm getting a mental block on the story sorry that this chapter's a little sucky. Give me a few days to recover and I'll update soon. Thanks for reading please, please review :D


	10. Cold

A/N; Thanks for all the reviews hope this chapter is to your liking :D

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_**Chapter 10 Cold**_

_"And I think its best we do not see each other behind Tamki's back anymore."_ The words burned. Seared at my heart till it was spreading through my body. The words attacked every nerve in my body sent every single atom into convulsions. Then like a blizzard my body went cold and I was frozen stiff. The world slowed and silenced all around me. _Nothing_ moved.

He was just watching me. So calm, so cool like he felt nothing at all. His dark, wonderful eyes were as cold as I felt. Empty of all the love and feelings he'd shown me in the last month. What was wrong with him? This must be a dream. Yes, that was it. I was only dreaming. Kyouya would never do this to me, to us. He said he loved me…..

"You'd better get back out there, Haruhi. Your debt is still large." I remained motionless my eyes frozen open in shock my body ridged as I felt his presence move pass me. Then emptiness filled in where he had been once. In my heart numbness companied by an empty hopeless feeling.

"K-Kyouya…." My voice shook and it took all I had to stay on my feet. Knowing I need a support of some kind I wobbled over to the wall, leaning against it heavily my breath seemed to escape all at once. That's when I realized I'd been holding it. It all came to fast, to heavy I felt like I would pass out. But I couldn't…I had to get on my feet and walk out of here my head held high. Until I was awake at least. There was no way this could be true. I…loved him.

I came walking out of the back room a pile of books towering in my arms. Everyone looked up as I exited, a clearly annoyed look painted on my face to perfection. I refused to look around at everyone. I kept my eyes ahead watching my path to the door out of the band room. Out of this nightmare. A flash caught my attention from the corner, but I refused to look.

"Where are you going with those books Haruhi?" Tamaki asked relieving me of a few off the top. I sighed as the weight was lifted.

"I need to take them down stairs." I said keeping my voice level and calm. I had no clue how I was pulling it off, but I was doing it.

"I'll come too."

"Alright, thank you." He took up pace besides me pulling a few more books off the top with a sideways grin at me. I tired to grin back but my lips barely twitched. Smiling, grinning, any emotions related to happiness was in total meltdown at the moment.

"Have you decided if you want to come with me Haruhi?" Tamaki asked when we reached the library. I placed the books on the cart slowly, my eyes staring at nothing as my hand moved mechanically.

"Huh?" I turned to him confused for a moment.

"Oh." I remembered before he could answer and he waited patiently for my answer.

"I'd love to go away with you Tamaki. Just the two of us."

"Really?" He looked completely surprised by this. I titled my head to the side staring up at him.

"You are my boyfriend. Tamaki, I want to spend time with you." I looked away feeling the words freeze on my lips. The books made soft thunking noises as I placed them on the metal cart. We seemed to be the only ones in the library, but it felt to quiet. Like someone was there, frozen so as not to be seen, or heard.

"Thanks Haruhi. That means a lot to me." I gasped, surprised as he wrapped his arms around my waist resting his chin on my shoulder. He leaned his cheek against mine rubbing the smooth textures together in a gentle nuzzle.

"Haruhi you're so cold. Are you alright?" He pulled back reaching up to place his hands on my face. They were warm, but I was cold. Starting from my heart and working my way out. I was frozen in a wintry hell as it finally settled on me. I was not dreaming.

_**Kyouya's POV**_

"I think its best that we don't not see each other behind Tamaki's back any more." The look on her face. It makes me want to die, die like the horrible monster I am. I'm breaking her heart. Its so easy to see on her face. My hands clench to keep from reaching out to embrace her. I want to soothe her, comfort her, but I've had a long time to think about this. It had to be the right choice. It saved Tamaki the heart break and betrayal. It saved Haruhi the guilt and loss of a friend. It was better for everyone that we no longer saw each other. Well, everyone but me. Just saying this was making me feel numb inside.

"You'd better hurry and get back out there Haruhi, your debt is still large." I knew that wasn't what needed to be say, but as I passed her I felt a chill sweep over me. She hadn't moved a muscle, it looked like she hadn't even breathed. I couldn't stand to look at her any longer, for fear I might crack and beg forgiveness.

The others are watching me as I stand in my corner scribbling on in my notebook. I notice Tamaki's gaze flickering to the back room on more then one occasion. _Yes that's it go in there comfort her, I can't anymore._ Tamaki stood from his seat but doesn't get more then a foot away before Haruhi reappears. Why does she have all those books? I wondered lifting my gaze slightly to peer at her over my glasses. The light reflected off them sending out a bright pulse that I am sure Haruhi saw. Her eyes tightened looking more determined now as she walked towards the door.

"Where are you going with all these books Haruhi?" Tamaki asks for me. I watch her, unable to turn my eyes away from her. I can see it in her eyes, she is in shock. She can't believe it. I can't believe it either. Just these few moments of knowing that she was not mine any longer was enough to make me scream. I felt my chest tighten to an unbearable point where my breathing cause in shallow gasps.

Mistake. This was a horrible, terrible mistake. I was wrong. Haruhi needed me, she loved me. Tamaki…he is our friend. He'd want her to be happy, and maybe eventually he would be able to forgive me. I had to go to her. I had to get her back. Just moments away and I was ready to dive out a window. My heart revved and speed to top speeds as she walked away from me and the band room. Tamaki by her side. Oh my god. What have I done?

I followed them all the way to the library but I stayed behind the wall waiting and listening. It was so quiet in there, I could have sworn they heard my heart panicking in my chest as it tightened and tightened till I could hardly breathe.

"Have you decided if you want to come with me Haruhi?" What was that supposed to mean? Where was he taking her?

"Huh?" She seemed just as confused, that was a good sign.

"Oh." Bad sign. She seemed to know now.

"I'd love to go away with you. Tamaki, just the two of us." What's that strange tone she's using?

"Really?" Why did he sound so surprised? Usually he'd be screaming by now.

"You are my boyfriend Tamaki. I want to spend time with you." My body went stiff as she spoke that sentence. She….so easily? She forgot about me so quickly? I….I lost her so soon? I….I was an idiot I shouldn't have let her go. Now she's gone. I found myself running down the hall away from the library. She _would_ be happy with Tamaki.

I…….

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A/N: Eek XO don't really love the Kyouya's view part but I like this chapter so sad :( Please review I'll update soon as humanly possible for me :D thanks for reading so much


	11. Author note

Author note Author note

I'm am soo very sorry for the long delay on my stories but I have had a bad case of can't type syndrome. I was going to have

updates for you for the next few days but I left my thumb drive at another house T.T so it might be a whole week before I

can get any updates on any of my stories. _I'm so so so so so so so so sorry_. Please forgive me and I will have updates in a

week at least. I'm so sorry I feel so stupid. But there is a small chance might have updates sooner then that but its real small.

Once again **I'm sorry** I'll have them up by next Monday or Sunday at the **latest!! I'm sorry T.T**

**_Cherry_**


	12. Lying in his arms

A/N: Ok sorry for the long delay had a bad case of…

A/N: Ok sorry for the long delay had a bad case of….don't wanna type syndrome lol. Thanks for being patient please enjoy!!

_**Chatper 11 Lying in his arms**_

I let Tamaki drive me home. I let him hold my hand in the car, and I let him walk me to the door. He seemed happy but distracted as well. Maybe even confused. But I was trying to act like girlfriend, maybe that was what was confusing him. I'd never let him be close and friendly with me. Not this much of the time at least. I would always fend off some of his approaches letting him have a certain amount of time. But now I wouldn't let him leave my side.

"Well I'll be back in a few hours to pick you up." He leaned to kiss my cheek but I pulled back. He straightened a slight pout forming on his lips.

"No, please stay." I pleaded grabbing his hand as I opened my door. He was surprised and stood there for a moment.

"But…" His head twisted to the side watching me as if I had just said the strangest thing in the world.

"Don't you want to get your stuff together for the trip?" He said slowly, carefully almost.

"Yes, I want you to stay with me." My voice, I hoped, wasn't shaking like the rest of my insides. I was in shock still but it was wearing off. I didn't have the desire to be alone at the moment. I knew I'd break down and never be put back together. I could already feel the numbness of pain creeping up my legs and my arms. Tamaki was a comfort to me even if I was lying to him.

"Please, Tamaki." That seemed to do it. He smiled happily and _he_ pulled _me_ inside.

"How about this outfit Haruhi?" Tamaki chimed holding up a pretty sun dress my father had picked up for me. I sighed, since that was the fifth dress he'd held up.

"Alright." I gave in, watching him cheer and pack the dress away. I sat on the bed watching him. He asked before placing anything in the suitcase but he seemed to be enjoying the freedom of picking my outfits.

"I'll be right back." I got up when I heard the phone.

"Hurry back my dear!" Tamaki called and I groaned knowing there were going to be a few more dresses I wouldn't know about till I opened the suitcase again.

I went out in the living room feeling still very much cold as I entered the atmosphere of alones. Tamaki's cheerful presence had kept my at least room temperature and held back the pain but now it was spreading through my system again.

The phone rang again just as I reached for it. Looking at the caller ID I froze. It was Kyouya's number. My heart screamed that I answer it and talk to him, but my mind refused to give the order. It was concentrating on the hurt and suffered he'd inflicted on me while my heart was thinking of his voice. Both wanted something different and neither could make my fingers move before the phone stopped ringing.

"Who was it Haruhi?" Tamaki asked placing a few shirts into the suitcase. I nodded approving of a shirt he held up as I walked.

"I didn't answer it." I said softly going over to him.

"Haruhi?" I moved in front of him so he couldn't get into my closet anymore. I looked up at him knowing by big brown eyes were filled with grief. His deep blue eyes looked back concerned.

"What's wrong?" He whispered placing both hands on my face. The flesh was warm against my cheeks.

"Nothing. Just…hold me please." I whispered. He didn't hesitate to wrap his arms around me and pull me close. I stayed there against his chest fighting with the tears as he held me close.

"I love you Haruhi." He whispered gently running his hand up and down my back like he knew I was about to break into tears.

"I…I love you too." I whispered feeling my voice break after the last word. I held my tongue after that knowing I wouldn't be able to keep my tears back.

Here I was cradled loving in Tamaki's arms knowing he'd never do anything to hurt me, knowing he loved me and all I could think about was Kyouya. Why was I lying to Tamak? Why was I lying in his arms when they surrounded me in such a bubble of protection? Was I so willing to hurt him? I didn't deserve him. I didn't deserve anything. I felt so miserable at that moment I thought I would die.

_Kyouya I love you! Why did you leave?_

A/N: Ok it's a short chapter but just wait promise it will be up shortly :D thanks for all the patience I love you guys to pieces!! Don't forget to review purrrty please :D And I have polls on my home page if you'd like to vote Thank you again !!


	13. Thinking

A/N: See up quickly hehe

A/N: See up quickly hehe. Thanks for reading and keeping up with my delays. Please enjoy !!

_**Chapter 12 Thinking**_

_**Kyouya's POV**_

As soon as I got home from school I locked myself up in my room and refused to let anyone in. Servants scurried away as my voice rose angrily as they tried to pry through my locked door.

I sat on the edge of my bed, staring at my cell phone. I half expected Haruhi to call me, but of course she didn't. Why would she call me? After what I did to her I deserved nothing better then to die. I broke her heart and unknowingly mine as well.

I couldn't take it any longer. I had to get her back. I tried to let her be happy let her have time with Tamaki but I could barely hold the rage back when I saw them leaving after school holding hands. I was so angry because I knew she wouldn't be in my arms in a few hours. I was jealous beyond belief again, because she wasn't mine.

I dialed her number lighting quick and listened to it ring. Once, twice….Three times. She didn't pick up. Maybe she wasn't home? No she was. Where else would she have gone.

I looked around my room feeling how really cold it was for the first time. I'd never noticed the tempeture because I had always had my own little portable heater. I twisted around on the bed looking at the mess of sheets where I'd tossed and turned. This bed is where I made the horrible mistake of believing that I was better off with out Haruhi. That she was better off with out me. This bed was where we had laid just days ago. I remembered the way her breath tickled my skin, the way her kisses were so light and loving.

"Haruhi I love you." What I been thinking, giving her up. My father could go to hell for all I cared. I loved Haruhi and there was no way I was going to give her up without a fight. Well I wasn't going to let her leave thinking I didn't love her. She was the only thing that mattered in my life, and I could see that now.

I got up from my bed. My face hard and serious. I loved Haruhi, the only person in the world that made me truly happy. I didn't care what my fahter said, or what he'd do. I have to go to her. I have to get her back. If I couldn't even make it thorugh one day without her how am I supposed to live the rest of my life without her.

_**Haruhi's POV**_

I looked back at my apartment and sighed. My bags were packed and being loaded into the back of Tamaki's limo. He was standing at my side one arm around my waist the other stroking the side of my face.

"What are you thinking about?" He whispered.

"If my dad will starve without me." He chuckled lightly and led me into the limo. Numbness was fading and I could feel each little pin prick now. Every word that had sent me to this place. Each action that had put me on this path. Every action since I said yes to Tamaki. I felt everything slap me in the face over and over again. My mistakes were relentless as we drove away.

Tamaki if he noticed, didn't say anything about my silent, sometimes wincing attitude. His eyes were adverted to the streets as he held my hand against his knee. He seemed to be thinking about something and he was very serious about the thoughts he was having. I finally managed to subdue the pain and glance over at the man that loved me so much.

"What's wrong Tamaki?" I whispered squeezing his fingers. He jumped like I had shouted at him.

"Nothing my sweet. Just thinking." He smiled brightly.

"About what?" I was curious, or just maybe looking for an escape of the pain.

"About Kyouya." My heart missed a beat.

"What about him?" I hoped my voice was level.

"He seemed a little strange at school. That's all."

"I'm sure he's fine. Maybe doing more…host club things." I took a deep breath and scooted closer to Tamaki. He put his arm around me like it was an awkward action but he relaxed almost immediately. His eyes slid away from me for only a minute and out the window for a short second. A second that changed both our lives.

"Driver stop!"

A/N: Ok lol another short cliff hanger sorry. But its good that way. Please review and thanks so much reading!!


	14. Don't Die

A/N: Please enjoy and please review the stories almost over :D

A/N: Please enjoy and please review the stories almost over :D

_**Chapter 13 Don't die**_

"Driver stop!" Tamaki thundered loud enough to make me jump right out from under his arm.

"What's wrong?" I demanded almost angrily as the limo slowed and came to a stop. Tamaki didn't answer me he climbed out the door and stepped out on to the sidewalk.

"Tamaki what are you do-" I froze after following him out of the limo. I stared across the street at Kyouya panting on the other side. His eyes were wide surprised to see us.

"K-Kyouya…" I whispered under my breath. I glanced up at Tamaki his face was pulled down in concern.

"Are you alright Kyouya?" Tamaki called over the street traffic. Kyouya didn't answer his chest rose and fell heavily as he stared at us. No he stared at me. I thought I would pass out right then and there. My face I knew was in panic and fear. I was panicked because I felt I couldn't control myself, and fear for the look in Kyouya's eyes. It was crazed. I wanted to grab Tamaki's arm and drag him back into the limo but I found myself taking a step into the street.

"Haruhi no!" Tamaki caught my arm pulling me back from the traffic just as a large bus rolled past with enough speed to have made me a bug on the windshield. The wind pulled at my hair as I jumped back. My eyes left Kyouya's with reluctance and looked up at Tamaki. His face softened and he touched my cheek.

"Wait till its safe to cross." My eyes widened as he said that. It was like he knew I had to get over there. Like he knew Kyouya was there to see me. Like he knew. I looked back at Kyouya and felt a scream bubble up my throat.

"Kyouya no!" Kyouya ran out into the street blind to the on coming traffic his only purpose to cross and get to me.

My world slowed in horror as Kyouya raced across the street. I saw his feet move slowly but the car came so fast. I saw his face lift to look at me, but it didn't turn to see the danger. I saw his smile lift up at the corners and his eyes closed. He knew he'd done something wrong. Besides crossing the street into on coming traffic, but us. He hadn't moved fast enough and he hadn't been able to reach me. In the second it took to blink my world shattered into a million pieces.

The world came crashing back on me like a thousand tons as I heard the brakes scream and witnessed Kyouya fly through the air. My body fell but Tamaki caught me around the waist steadying on my feet.

"KYOUYA!" I screamed this time Tamaki didn't stop me, he ran with me as we rushed to Kyouya's limp body laying face down in the middle of the street. People lined the sidewalks several on cell phones. Several others running out to help the boy.

"Oh my god. I didn't mean to he just ran out in the street. Oh my god." The driver of the car raced out of her car her eyes bleeding tears as she witnessed the teenage boy lying in the street. Unmoving.

"Kyouya! Kyouya!" I cried kneeling down besides him. Tamaki kneeled on the other side rolling his friend over gently.

Kyouya's eyes were open but they stared back without expression. His glasses were cracked and laying feet away from him. His legs seemed to be twisted in unnatural positions and his face was so pale. I grabbed his face feeling how cold it was, amazing it was colder then I had been.

"Kyouya please. Please don't die." I cried tears streaming down my face and forming a river in the street. His eyes blinked slowly looking up at me. I could hear the ambulance coming. The loud sirens a dull buzz in the back of my mind. I tried to hear Kyouya's breathing. Tried to hear the beat of his heart, and I tried to hear his voice so desperately.

"Kyouya, oh please." I sobbed. His hand twitched moving across the pavement to touch my knee. I grabbed it holding it against my face. I half laughed half sobbed again when his fingers moved back and forth flinging my tears off my cheek.

"I-I…a-am…" His breath was shallow and that nearly took all the strength he had just to say those two words.

"No don't talk. Please just hold on. Help's coming." I shushed him gently rubbing my face against his hand. My body quivered next to his still one my mind reeling with what was happening. What could be happening to him.

"I'll be right back I have to tell these men what happened." Tamaki stood, I had completely forgot that he had been there. I didn't watch him go so afraid to look away from Kyouya.

"Sorry, Haruhi." He rasped his lips twitching into a sad grin.

"Don't talk!" I snapped without really meaning it. His voice sounded so sweet. Only a few hours without hearing it and this might be the last time I heard it. No don't think that, Kyouya's gonna be just fine. He'll live.

I felt his hand go limp and when I looked at his face his eyes were closed.

"Kyouya?" I whispered.

"Kyouya!" I screamed filling the air with horror and grief.

"Kyouya! Kyouya! KYOUYA!"

A/N: T.T that's all I have to say. Please review.


	15. Raining

A/N: Thanks for all the reviews and all those you were so patiently with my stupidity I'm forever grateful please enjoy

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_**Chapter 14 Raining**_

I opened my eyes to the sound of rain. I had closed them for only a moment, bowing my head and it had started to rain, as if God knew I could not shed a single tear. My body was numb with a cold that had settled two days ago and never left me. I stood on the edge of a hole deep enough to make me want to scream. The dark pit made my stomach clench and head spin. I had to look away up into the dark cloudy sky that thundered in its own pain.

"Are you alright Haruhi?" Tamaki whispered lightly in my ear as he bent closer to me. I didn't answer, and I didn't look at him. I had to bit my lip to keep from sobbing as I saw the casket come closer to us. I stepped back from the pit and Tamaki grabbed my hand steadying me as I teetered.

"Do you hear something?" I whispered my voice hoarse from hours of crying. I could hear something. _Beep…Beep…Beep._ It was the strangest sound I've ever heard.

"No my dear." He said softly touching my face. I pulled back from the touch and wrapped my arm around my body, Tamaki still claimed my hand.

My worst nightmares could never have compared to my life at this very moment. The brown slick caste hovering over the dark pit now right in front of me. My friends, his friends, gathered all around dressed in all black. The priest stands at the head of his casket.

I stood still as a statue as the man went over things that Kyouya had accomplished and how much his absence would affect the world. How much we would all miss him. _Beep-Beep….Beep…Beep-Beep. _I frowned looking around at all gathered there. No one seemed to hear the sound but me. My heart beat seemed to match the rhythm.

"You can't hear that?" I demanded to Tamaki frowning at him. He turned his own frown.

"No, Haruhi." He looked concerned now.

"Go on." He pushed me forward towards the casket and I realized I was supposed to place my flowers on it now. I looked down at the blue roses and felt my grief wash over me again in new painful waves. My heels squished in the now drenched ground as I stepped closer to the man I loved. I hadn't been able to see him, since the funeral had been closed casket. But I could almost feel his eyes staring up at me. The grin of someone who was happy even though they laid there dying.

"I love you Kyouya." I whispered placing the white lilies on the casket. I frowned staring at them.

"I had roses." I said.

"Haruhi?" Tamaki asked softly.

"I had blue roses in my hands." I looked back again gasping to see the roses resting on the casket. My heart raced in my chest as I stepped away quickly. _Beep-Beep…Beep…Beep-Beep._

"What is that sound!" I shouted twirling around to face each person. They all stared at the ground none looking up at me. The sky growled and rolled as lightening crashed. Rain drenched the ground but I didn't feel a single drop touch me.

"Haruhi its time to go." Tamaki stretched out his hand to me. I stared he and I was the only ones here. Everyone else had just disappeared. Tamaki, the casket, me, and the hole. Nothing else was here with us.

"What's going on?" I whimpered stepping away from Tamaki. My chest tightened in fear as my heart raced. I bumped against the casket my foot slipping under into hole.

"Get away from him Haruhi." Tamaki whispered his eyes pleading with me. I stood to my feet touching the casket with my wet hands. Tears flooded down my cheeks mixing with the rain. Still not a drop touched me.

"Oh, Kyouya. I'm so sorry." I whispered running my hands up and down the smooth wood where his hand would be.

"I love you so much."

"Get away from him your mine Haruhi!" Tamaki shouted but when I looked back at him he was crying. Tears slid down his face slowly, in agony at my words.

"I'm sorry Tamaki. I'm sorry." I repeated shaking my head. _Beep-Beep…Beep…Beep-Beep._

"Ah!" I screamed falling backwards as Kyouya's casket began to shake and pound like someone was beating against it.

"Kyouya!" I screamed scrabbling back up to my feet.

"Let me go!" Tamaki rushed grabbing me around the waist and pulling me back.

"_Haruhi!"_ The sound was muffled, quiet but it was Kyouya's voice! Kyouya was alive.

"No!" The casket was lowering into the ground. The white lilies turned blood red and blood poured across the casket as it disappeared into the whole.

"Kyouya!" My scream was deafening but I couldn't see. I couldn't feel everything about this was wrong. The flowers, the sky, the funeral. Everything. It was all so wrong. The rain was letting up now. The rain.

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A/N: Ok short chapter but don't worry update soon…hopefully Thanks for reading please review!! :D


	16. Heartbeat

A/N: Thanks so much for review :D Sorry if last chapter was confusing but it was worth the confusion. All is revealed hehe Enjoy!!

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_**Chapter 15 Heartbeat**_

My eyes felt welded shut by a power unknown to the human race. I wanted them to stay closed, though. I didn't want to face the horrible reality that Kyouya had died in my arms. My screams still echoed in my mind. I remembered Tamaki peeling me away from Kyouya's still frame as the paramedics tended to him. I remembered burying myself into his chest and sobbing uncontrollably as my body shook. All I could think about was that Kyouya was dead. He's dead and its all because of me. If I hadn't said yes to Tamaki…if I had gone behind his back…If…so many ifs.

Kyouya was dead.

_Beep-Beep…Beep_

_Beep…Beep-Beep_

_Beep-Beep…Beep_

_Beep-Beep…Beep…Beep-Beep_

_Beep-Beep……beep…beep-beep_

_Beep-Beep…Beep…Beep-Beep._

That sound. It wouldn't stop. It seemed never to end. It was keeping me from much needed sleep. It had seeped into a dream, a dream that I had just woken from. Kyouya's funeral. That hadn't happened? He…he….

I lifted my head from the soft surface it had been resting against. Something was resting my head and it was so light.

"Hey my sleeping beauty." Tears overwhelmed my vision quickly and I panicked at not being able to see his face.

"Kyouya!" I whimpered covering my mouth to keep from screaming out in pure joy. He smiled at me as his hand slid off the top of my head to my cheek. I leaned against his smooth palm holding it with both hands.

"A-are you really here?" I blinked trying to clear my vision, without releasing my grip on his hand. I didn't want this to be another dream. This had to be real, or I would just simple die.

"I'm really here." He whispered.

"Oh Kyouya!" I sobbed throwing myself forward. His hands patted my back as I stretched over him crying into his shoulder. That's when I noticed we were in a hospital room. The curtains were closed allowing little light to disturb the room. Chairs littered all around the room with a few tables. _Beep-Beep…beep._

"That sound." I lifted my head barely enough to see past his shoulder.

"My heart monitor." He whispered stroking the side of my face with pale hands.

"That's what I've been hearing. Your heart." I whispered looking into his face as I turned my head. His dark eyes gazed back softly, like they would melt in his skull. I didn't move as he moved towards me, though it was only a few inches that closed the gap between us.

His lips soft and smooth caressed against mine in the sweetest kiss he'd ever given me. I felt my body mold against his as our arms wound tighter around each other. He pulled back gulping for air and I started to back away afraid that he was sick, but he pulled me back to him urgently. Our mouths moved together like we've never kissed before, like we needed to explore the tastes and textures all over again.

"Kyouya…" I breathed as our foreheads met. We were both breathing heavily and we were even blushing together. My finger tips ran across his cheek lightly.

"I'm so sorry Haurhi." I frowned at him. "I love you so much I shouldn't have said those things to you. I love you, please don't leave." He looked up his eyes pleading and face saddened. I laughed.

"What?" He demanded frowning at my unnecessary sounds.

"I'll never leave Kyouya. I love you." I whispered brushing away fresh tears. He smiled, then winced.

"Oh!" I cried getting off of him before he could object.

"I'm sorry." I whispered my hands hovering over his body, to scared to touch him. He had just been hit by a car and here I was laying on him.

"No, come back." He opened his arms full expecting me to climb on his chest again but I stayed firm on the ground my hands gripping his bed sheets tightly.

"You need to rest." I whispered my fingers digging into the sheets. Kyouya frowned but his eyes dropped reluctantly.

"Will you stay here." He whispered sleepily. I smiled at him my face warm against the coldness I'd felt.

"I wont leave your side." I whispered gripping his hand tightly. He frowned still staring at me.

"Please Haruhi." He tugged on my hand and I sighed, unable to deny him especially in his condition.

I carefully crawled up onto the bed besides him careful as I wrapped one arm around his chest. Both of his arms wound around me and he kissed my head ever so lovingly.

When I looked up again he was fast asleep. I smiled nuzzling closer to his shoulder. _Beep-Beep…Beep…Beep-Beep. _His heart monitor started to lull me to sleep. But before I was out cold, I looked Kyouya up and down. He had a cast around both legs. He had bruises on the parts of his skin that I could see, and I could feel bandages on his side. I felt tears spring to my eyes at the horrible memory. But I didn't dwell on it long, Kyouya was safe and that was all that mattered. Or at least that's what I thought as I fell asleep.

I didn't hear the door close, I hadn't know it had been cracked enough for someone to peek inside.

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A/N: ok another short chapter but that was a good place to end. Thanks so much for reading I love the reviews. Ok that was just her realizing he wasn't dead so next chapter will be longer and all the explantions for where and how he got to where and all that fun stuff :D Please Review thanks for reading :D...OOO also i found the song that inspired me to write this story Its called "lyin in his arms again" by The Forester Sisters


	17. Dramatic but not Blind

A/N: Thanks for all the reviews I love you guys to pieces. Please enjoy reading and please review :D

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_**Chapter 16 Dramatic, but not Blind**_

_**Kyouya's POV**_

This seems like I've really died and gone to heaven, for some unknown reason. There was no way this angel of a woman was laying at my side after all I did to her. No way her tears could have wet my face and no way her warmth could have been felt as I was ready for death to over come me. But it was real. Haruhi's breath was even against my neck as she snuggled closer to me in her sleep. I smiled running my finger tips from her eye to ear, and back again. Her skin was so soft beneath my hands.

I woke up about an hour ago and hadn't had the will to shatter this wonderful, peaceful moment and wake Haruhi. Having her here was a dream made reality especially when I broke her heart and mine in the process. Hopefully I'd be able to make us both whole again.

I leaned down to kiss her forehead and smiled at her when her eyes fluttered open.

"I'm sorry, didn't mean to wake you up." I mumbled running the back of my fingers down her cheek. She stared up at me with those lovely brown eyes and smiled.

"I can't sleep with that beeping anyway. Your heart sounds better then the machine." She mumbled kissing my heart as she sat up. I smiled staring into her face as she hovered near me. I leaned forward for a kiss but she leaned away climbing off the bed. My whimper was drowned away as the bed creaked with the lifted weight of Haruhi. She stood by my bedside patting her dark brown hair as her eyes lifted, and shifted about the room interested by her surroundings. She was short still, but seemed to have a way of towering over a person when she knew she was right. Her eyes were arm enough to make smores out of them. And she was just so beautiful all around. I had no idea what I did to deserve this walking, talking angel.

"Where are you going?" I asked as she attempted to smooth out the wrinkles in her shirt.

"I'll be right back, I love you." She pecked me on the cheek and disappeared through the door before I could protest.

_**Haruhi's POV**_

Walking the halls of the hospital I felt like I was alone in Kyouya's halls once again. Everything looked the same and I had nearly no idea where I was going and the lack of people annoyed me. I hadn't seen anyone, expect for the soft beeping as I passed doors. It made me wonder how badly Kyouya had been hurt. Just the memory and the mere thought of his death sent shivers down her spine and goose bumps across her skin like a plague.

"Haruhi!" I turned my head when my name was called loudly. I saw Tamaki galloping down the hall towards me. My name echoed pass me as I waited for….my boyfriend to catch up.

"Oh, Tamaki-Senpai." I said then flinched remembering that I wasn't supposed to call him Senpai anymore. But then again, what did he know? The day of the accident it was obvious to the strangers that Haruhi loved Kyouya. As it was clear in his eyes he loved me as well. It would have been much more obvious to Tamaki then anyone. His footsteps were too loud as they approached like the steps of death ready to claim me its next victim.

"Are you alright?" He asked holding me at arms length as he swept me up and down.

"Yes, I'm fine. Are you alright?" I asked seeing the bags under his eyes and the messy garments he wore. Looked like he hadn't slept for days but it hadn't been more then 24 hours since the accident.

"Yes, yes just fine my dear." Even his smile seemed dim to my eyes, just a dull beam that didn't reach his eyes.

"Have you been home?" I asked frowning at him.

"No, stayed here the whole night." He said releasing my arms as he took my hand.

"The whole night?" I asked following him.

"Yep, been in a guest sleeping room. Kyouya needed the sleep." He said. Before I could question him further we entered the cafeteria.

"Is this where you wanted to go?" He asked grinning over his shoulder. I nodded wordlessly a little worried by his attitude. I also noticed that his hand held mine loosely like he was unsure if he should be holding my hand.

"Thanks for helping me Tamaki." I said as we carried trays piled with jell-o and other food back to Kyouya's room.

"No problem. I haven't been to see him since he arrived, I feel kind of guilty." He chuckled lightly.

"Why haven't you come to visit him?" I asked innocently looking up at him.

"The nurses said he was sleeping." He answered looking down at the jell-o wiggling on the tray. I stared up at him seeing the cloudy look in his blue eyes as they watched the moving food.

"Tama-" But he interrupted me by nudging me forward with his elbow. I frowned at him looking increasingly worried as he bounced on his toes waiting for me to answer the door.

"Kyouya, I brought a friend." I said as we entered Kyouya's room. He was sitting up scowling at his bandages and wiggling his toes which were sticking out from his cast. His face lit up upon seeing me but became more guarded as Tamaki followed.

"How are you Kyouya?" Tamaki asked placing his tray down on Kyouya.

"Little sore, but I'll live." Kyouya answered sounding sleepy as he ignored the food before him.

"You should eat." I spoke getting another chair to drag up besides the bed as Tamaki sunk into my old chair. Kyouya's eyes flickered to me, his lips twitched, then he was back to Tamaki.

"What possessed you to run out into traffic like that! You could have died." Tamaki jumped right into scolding. I flushed lightly at him embarrassed by the facts, and Tamaki.

"I had things I needed to say." I paled instantly looking up at Kyouya as his voice dipped.

"Like what?" Tamaki asked leaning back in his chair. The way his eyes focused on nothing made my stomach clench. This was really happening. Kyouya was actually going to tell Tamaki about us.

"Haruhi are you alright?" I looked up faking a smile at them as Tamaki frowned at me.

"Just fine." I mumbled folding my hands across my stomach. Kyouya looked at me questioningly but I nodded taking a deep breath.

"I had to apologize to Haruhi for what I did to her."

"And did you?" I stared wide eyed at Tamaki as did Kyouya.

"Y-yeah." He stuttered watching his friend wearingly now.

"I'm glad, she was so sad after you two had that chat. I hated to see her that way." Tamaki glanced my way and smiled sadly.

"I'm glad you two are better now." I gawked at him Kyouya just stared like Tamaki had slapped him in the face with a week old fish.

"T-Tamki?"

"Yes, Haruhi I knew." The room was silent. Death seemed to be screaming against this silence that nearly strangled me.

"Y-You knew?" I whispered my words like a fog horn in the room.

"I'm may be dramatic Haruhi, but I'm not blind." He leaned on his fist looking at me with a sad upward turn on his lips.

"How? When?"

"I knew about a couple of weeks after we started dating. I saw the sudden change in Kyouya's attitude. The way you acted, how you distanced yourself from me. I tried to deny it but I saw him leave your house once or twice, saw you two in the band room."

"Ah, don't cry Haruhi." I hadn't noticed the tears streaking down my face as I listened to Tamaki.

"I was upset at first, felt betrayed by you both but I saw how happy you two were. I tried to make you love me, but I guess I failed because each morning you were alwasy just a little more distant from me." He chuckled, a hollow sound in his throat.

"Oh, Tamaki I'm so sorry." I whispered cupping my mouth as he lowered his eyes from mine and stared at the floor.

"Tamaki I'm sorry…." But Tamaki just chuckled again and shook his head.

"No, don't worry. Kyouya, yours and Haruhi's happiness is all that matters to me." He stood suddenly but I was frozen in my seat unable to move as he bent down to me.

"I'm going home, I'll be back tomorrow." He kissed my forehead and straightened.

"Get better soon." Tamaki patted Kyouya' on the shoulder then turned and left the room.

Silence was tight around us again as we stared at each other.

"Haruhi, come here." He opened his arms to me and I crawled up to him quickly. The sadness in his eyes was not just the reflection of my own. Tears ran down my face silently but I was free to be with Kyouya now. The happiness fluttering just behind my heart was shame ful and made me cry even harder.

"I love you." Kyouya murmured in my ear stroking my arms.

"I love you." I whispered back kissing his neck as I cuddled closer.

"I only wish we'd known this before Tamaki had to be hurt." I whispered feeling his arms tighten around me.

"Me too Haruhi, me too."

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A/N: Ok there ya go Tamaki knew all along!! Thought it would be a more genltier way to let him go ya know?? Sad too but yeah. Probably one maybe two more chapters so please review and thanks tons for sticking with me all this time !!


	18. Epiloge

A/N: I'm soo ooooo awfully sorry for not updating plz be forgiving!! Please enjoy the ending to this story and please don't forget to review thanks you!!

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_**Epilogue**_

_**Tamaki's POV**_

I didn't leave after I left the hospital room. I stood outside the door and listened to their words afterwards. Haruhi's quiet sobs and Kyouya's all to quiet sadness. His silence spoke the loudest to me. I'd known him long enough to know how much this was hurting him. But I felt numbness in my bones, the reality of it all hadn't truly hit me yet.

The words, _I love you Kyouya,_ sent fiery pain through my system. It was true. She was really truly gone I could never have Haruhi for myself. Never have her love. I tried so hard to make her love me but it only ended up hurting me in the end.

I managed to make it to my limo before it all came crashing down on me. My driver took me home as I wept silently in the back for Haruhi. My first love, she was really gone.

:

:

A few hours later while I was still laying in bed my phone went off. The ring tone I recognized right away. I almost didn't answer, I shouldn't have answered but I knew that would have hurt her and the need for her voice was too strong in me.

"Hello?" I said forcing the cheerful note to burst through my lips in an almost too joyous sound.

"Tamaki…" Her voice was so sweet to my ears, additive. She sounded sad though, I felt my instincts kick in and try to cheer her up.

"Hello Haruhi, is Kyouya' doing well?" I asked worry for my best friend giving me an excuse to sound less the merry at the moment.

"Yes, they'll release him tomorrow morning."

"That's good." I sighed. There was a pause between us and I almost cried again.

"Are you coming back?" She asked softly.

"Yes, if you want me too." I couldn't keep the slight pang from my voice as I thought of yet another rejection from her lips.

"I do, Kyouya too." She whispered I could tell by the quiet way she spoke that she was crying again.

"Alright Haruhi I'll be there." I said smiling sadly in my room.

"Thank you Tamaki." She whispered almost to quiet for me to hear. She was crying for sure and she hung up a few minutes later when speech became impossible for either one of us.

I rolled over on my bed and stared at the wall one arm slung over my forehead the other clutching the sheets of my bed. So this is what it felt like to lose the one thing you loved the most. How was I going to go on? I would have to see Haruhi's sweet smile everyday, her warm chocolate eyes and hear her voice and know none of it will ever be mine. Kyouya betrayed me, but he is my friend. My best friend to be exact.

I saw how happy they were, saw the way they would 'secretly' glance at one another. I knew about their meetings at her house, but I never let myself go and confront them. I just wanted to see her smile, even if I wasn't always the cause of it. That day I saw him leave her house, saw all the looks that shared, I knew I was losing her. I tried to force her to look at me and really see me, but I guess I failed. All my silent pleas, and gentle touches were just the instrument of my own pain now. Memory was a cruel thing.

:

So I went to the hospital the next day with a smile I'd practiced and managed to paint across my face. I'd try to seem cheerful but I caught a glimpse of my pale face and darkish bags as I entered the hospital. This was going to be difficult for everyone, I think.

I approached Kyouya's room with a clenched feeling in my gut but I tried to hide the feeling from my face and pulled my lips back, the feeling felt so strange as I walked into the room.

"How is the patient today?" I called flashing a bright smile as I walked into Kyouya's room.

"Tamaki-Senpai!" Haruhi exclaimed surprised by my sudden outburst. I held the flinch inside at my name and continued to smile at nothing in particular. There was a brief pause between the three of us and I finally noticed Kyouya was dressed and in a wheel chair. His cast propped up and still as my heart felt. Haruhi was standing behind him her hands gripping the bars of his chair in what looked like a very painful grip.

"I'm just in time then? Come lets get you home Kyouya." I grinned bowing to them and extending my arm towards the door. Kyouya nodded once and looked over at his shoulder at Haruhi. I looked away deliberately not wanting to witness the exchange.

I followed at Kyouya's side a good foot or so spaced me and Haruhi. I caught her worried glance every now and then but just smiled at the hallway and kept my eyes dry. A man shouldn't have to cry in public. Or at all.

"Well I guess this is it then. Sorry I didn't get here earlier." I apologized as we reached the limo awaiting Kyouya out front. Actually I'd been up for hours but hadn't had the nerve to get up and come see them until now.

"Its fine, you can ride with us and stay for a while." Kyouya said looking up at me through his glasses.

"Oh, no I couldn't be a bother." I protested quickly. I really just didn't want to see them together. I knew I'd be able to handle it with a smile on my face one day but not now.

"Please?" Haruhi provoked but I shook my head again, closing my eyes so I didn't have to see the look in her face.

"I'm leaving for a while anyway." I said breaking the news to them suddenly. The words just popped from my lips and even I was startled by it.

"Where are you going?" Haruhi cried leaning over Kyouya's wheel chair. He grabbed her hand as she squeezed back.

"I'm going to France for a while. I'll be back of course." I said flapping my hands and smiling at them like an idiot.

"Tamaki…" Haruhi whispered watery eyed as I started to back up a few paces.

"Have fun you two." I said as the driver came around and loaded Kyouya into the back of the limo. My friend watched me as long as he could. Then that just left Haruhi and me.

She was staring at me like I'd committed some crime. I wanted to laugh at it all. But I had decide last night that I couldn't stay in the same town with them. I had to leave for a while.

"You don't have to go." She pleaded quietly holding her arm against her body.

"Don't worry about it Haruhi I will be back. You act as if I'm never coming back."

"Because you aren't." She said exposing my lie. I sighed and loosened the smile from my face and let it shatter at my feet.

"Haruhi, its better this way. You can be with Kyouya and I can be with my mother in France. Or whoever else I can find there." I managed a weak chuckle as I saw single tear carve down her skin.

"Please, don't go." Even now I was compelled to make her smile, make her happy and through myself into the fire to do it. But I couldn't this time. It was better this way.

"No, I'm leaving Haruhi, as should you. I'm sure Kyouya's pain killers will wear off soon enough and you don't want to be moving him around when he's cranky." She smiled weakly at that looking back at the open door to the limo. Even without seeing his face she still poured her love out.

"Go on." I Motioned towards the door and she looked back at me with one last pleading glance.

"Goodbye Tamaki. I'm sorry." She whispered suddenly right in front of me. She surrounded me like an infant and cradled me against her as I shakily returned the hug. She peeled herself back and it felt like a limp was being torn away in slow motion.

"Goodbye Haruhi." I whispered. She hurried into the limo without a look back and I waved silently to the limo as it pulled away. My love, and my everything rolled away that day. And I planned on not returning for maybe my entire life. But maybe, just maybe I'd return one day.

_Haruhi, I love you._

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A/N; Ok sad ending I know but I might write a sequel with Tamaki in France and all that good stuff. But its not a promise because I haven't been very faithful in my other promised sequels. So please review the last chapter and thanks for reading all this time with me :D


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